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If You Eat Your Bed, You Can't Lie in It !

If you eat your bed, you can't lie in it,
​That’s what I told my dog.
Did he listen, don’t be silly.
He kept chewing like a hog.

He nibbled off the corners,
And the fluff went everywhere.
I was scared he might swallow it,
And he looked as if he might dare.

So, I held his mouth wide open,
And retrieved the wet, white stuff.
His look gave me the willies.

Did he think I was too tough?

I took away his chewed-up bed,
And in the garbage tossed.

If he asked me where it went,

I'd tell him it was lost.

I realized it was fruitless,
 To buy him another bed.
Yet, he was used to comfort,
Like he was used to being fed.

​

One morning as I lumbered,

And turned on lights overhead,

It was on dad's chair he slumbered,

Fast asleep on this new-found bed

Now, I live in fear each morning,
 As I wake him up to go,
Outside to take his morning walk,
Through rain, sleet, or snow.

That I will find Dad's easy chair,

Has its stuffing pulled apart.

I'll have toscold my doggie,

 'Cause what he's doing is not too smart.

To solve his chewing problem,
He’ll have to make the leap,
Into my bed so I can hear,
If he starts nibbling in his sleep.